So this happened this morning: I was on the phone, making sure this blog post would go according to plan, when the person on the other end started telling me things I didn’t want to hear. My legs went wobbly, I stumbled forward trying to maintain my balance and as the cord on my phone grew taut I fell to my knees and wailed: “You maniacs! You blew it up!”
But I should probably start at the beginning. I record that I was born (as I have been informed and believe) on a Monday. [Editor’s note: at this point the author goes on to recount his life in a verbose manner that blatantly rips off David Copperfield. It was cut for the sake of brevity and the reader’s sanity.]
It was at this point in my life that I stumbled across Everything That Remains, a memoir that recounts two guys’ journey from a lifestyle of corporate excess to a minimalism. And that was my eureka moment! I would write a blog post about minimalism. My frantic research on the subject quickly drew my attention to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I thought I was set, but to my horror further research revealed it was a #1 New York Times best seller AND over 3 million copies had been sold. Minimalism was mainstream. Too old hat to share with my readers.
I needed a new angle and quick. Wracking my brain resulted in a quote from Everything That Remains. But it wasn’t just a quote. The authors were quoting themselves having a conversation in which they were quoting another book.1 This was my egads moment! The quote nested itself so beautifully it was as if it were straight out of the plot of Inception. And this, I thought, was my lightbulb moment! For the book they were quoting was Fight Club.
It became so clear: nerd minimalism. I could recommend Inception (the movie) and Fight Club (the book or the movie). One more recommendation and the nerd trifecta would be complete. Following the tenets of minimalism I conducted a thought experiment. If I could keep only one book on my shelf, what would it be? Obviously, the nerdiest book on my shelf. A book so nerdy, many nerds don’t even know this franchise started as a book.
As excited as I was, my lightbulb quickly shattered. When I double-checked the library catalogue to ensure it was available to borrow, it wasn’t. The last copy had recently been withdrawn. Of course, it’s nobody’s fault. It happens all the time. Books get dirty, and worn, and damaged to the point where they can no longer stay on the shelves. An Old Yeller moment, to be sure, but it has to happen. I made the necessary calls2 to try and get another copy re-ordered and every effort was made, but ultimately, the book is currently out-of-print.
There is a bit of a silver lining. You can borrow the movie, the remake of the movie, the sequel to the movie, the prequel to the remake of the movie, or any number of graphic novels based on the franchise. And, best of all, the truest form of the book is still available to borrow in the original French (which, alas, I cannot read3). Barring all that, you can still see if the library is able to bring in an English translation using our Inter-Library Loans service.
So what is this franchise you ask? Alas, still so distraught are my feels, I can’t yet bring myself to type its name. Though, dear reader, if you Google the title of this blogpost the answer will be revealed. 4
1Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus, Everything That Remains: A Memoir by the Minimalists (Asymmetrical Press, 2013), p. 90
2See the first paragraph.
3My good friend Tim, who does read French, swears the original version is so much better because the author makes clever use of verb conjugation that just isn’t possible in English. I believe him, mostly because ‘Tim’ is such a trustworthy name.
4“You maniacs! You blew it up!” if you’re too lazy to scroll back up to the top.